Is that even worth it?

EDIT: This was letting my rage out, i dont hate anyone i talked about here, just dont like them

EDIT EDIT: Actually, no i do fucking hate this person and i fucking mean everything i say, its what they fucking deserve!

EDIT EDIT EDIT: Im keeping this up because i don't care if the person sees this, i have the right to be as angry as i am


<sub>"I beg you to kill me..."
"Never, i will always be here~"

Why cant i just die... you all seem to hate me so much for my mistakes so why dont i just go?
That would just fix it all.. You wouldnt hate me any more... i wont cause anymore pain...
I wont be imperfect when im buried in the ground... 
Ill be rotting away.. forgotten by all...
I never mattered to you.. dont pretend like you cared...
You never asked me why i did the things i did
you never asked how i felt..
you never cared about my feelings...
you never cared about my guilt..
my shame...
my depression...
you never cared...
you wont ever see this.. 
maybe its best that way..
dont need you yelling at me again
if you knew how much every fucking day i wanted to end my fucking pathetic excuse for a life... maybe then you would understand.. or maybe you will think its just a dumb fucking excuse... Maybe if you understood what i had to go through for years of my life... or maybe that just isnt relevant now fucking is it? My feelings dont mean shit you you, yours mater more now dont they?... I fucking left to seek happiness, but im never going to fucking get that, i didnt get it from you. With you i didnt feel happy. Now where i am i actually feel like i have people around me WHO CARE ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY ASK ME IF IM EVEN OKAY! AND IM FUCKING NOT! IM NEVER OKAY! IM NOT PRETENDING TO BE OKAY! I GET THAT NOTHING WILL EXCUSE WHAT I SAID! BOUT YOU NEVER FUCKING ASKED ME WHAT I EVEN SAID! YOU NEVER ASKED WHY I DID THINGS! YOU JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY IM SUCH A DAMN FUCKING BITCH! you dont care... dont. even. pretend. you. did. 
I will never trust you.. and i have a good reason
but thats not good enough for you NOW IS IT!
Im done ranting.
I despise you Blue, and you despise me. 
You hurt me.
I hurt you.
we are fucking even
lets keep it that way...
I think im done trying to fix thing with you..
You dont even want to fix thing... you seem to love every reason to hate me
I bet when TJ comes back you will get him ti hate me too huh?
Maybe non of you were ever my real friends...
Wouldnt shock me in the slightest... 
You may hope to never see me again, but when we go to hell when we die.. i will be there... and i wont leave..
I hope satan fucking punishes you just as much as much as me.. you will feel all the fucking pain i have to every single fucking day...
Ill see you in Inferno Blue~...</sub>